The Three Stages of Pregnancy not found in the Text Books.

Stage 1: The Infatuated Stage.

              This stage occurs between the first and the sixth month

              of pregnancy. It often includes the purchasing of new clothes,

              calling all her friends, reading lots of books and painting

              a special room.

Stage 2:  The Paranoid Stage:

              This stage occurs between the seventh and eight month.

              As her body is reshaped by a growing bundle of joy this is

              the time for the father to step in and remind her how

              wonderful she looks.


Stage 3: The Premeditating Murder Stage: 


This stage usually occurs during the final  month of pregnancy, but, has been

know to occur sooner. To prepare for this stage an alert father-to-be will make

arrangements for the soon-to-be mother to spend lots of time with other family

members.  He will prepare the nest by putting together the crib and completely

repainting the special room several colors. Everyday he will tell the

really-soon-to-be-mother he loves her and she looks more beautiful than the

day before. An ample supply of  flowers and candy is recommended because

there is absolutely no way one man can dodge so many bullets.

              Most of all, he must prepare to grin and bear a female's completely

              stressed temperament. There is no doubt this is the most grueling

              stage for both soon-to-be parents... BUT...


     It is so worth it!

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An original--- by Cynthia Queen.