The Three Stages of Pregnancy not found in the Text Books.
Stage 1: The Infatuated Stage.
This stage occurs between the first and the sixth month
of pregnancy. It often includes the purchasing of new clothes,
calling all her friends, reading lots of books and painting
a special room.
Stage 2: The Paranoid Stage:
This stage occurs between the seventh and eight month.
As her body is reshaped by a growing bundle of joy this is
the time for the father to step in and remind her how
wonderful she looks.
Stage 3: The Premeditating Murder Stage:
This stage usually occurs during the final month of pregnancy, but, has been
know to occur sooner. To prepare for this stage an alert father-to-be will make
arrangements for the soon-to-be mother to spend lots of time with other family
members. He will prepare the nest by putting together the crib and completely
repainting the special room several colors. Everyday he will tell the
really-soon-to-be-mother he loves her and she looks more beautiful than the
day before. An ample supply of flowers and candy is recommended because
there is absolutely no way one man can dodge so many bullets.
Most of all, he must prepare to grin and bear a female's completely
stressed temperament. There is no doubt this is the most grueling
stage for both soon-to-be parents... BUT...
It is so worth it!
An original--- by Cynthia Queen.